Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS)

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Joan
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Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS)

Postby Joan » Wed Dec 11, 2013 5:23 pm

Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS) is a disorder of new squirrel mommies (Squammies). It is similar to Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS) except the abuser is the patient, not the care taker.
The chief symptoms are extreme anxiety, sleep deprivation, heightened sense of guilt and an uncontrollable urge to surf the Internet.

The anxiety is overwhelming and causes the squammy to lose all rational thought and IQ scores drop by at least 20 points. Sleep deprivation is directly related to how long the flyer has been in the household. New Squammies are not above getting up multiple times a night and holding a tiny mirror under the pup's nose to make sure it's breathing. When the pup displays normal behavior ... cleverly disguised as abnormal, the new Squammy is certain it is her fault and this can often lead to situational depression.

The urge to surf the Internet plunges the Squammy further into a state of chaos when it's discovered that there are a myriad of sites run by "experts" and all of them conflicting what the other site says. The pup uses this to it's advantage and displays different "symptoms" on a daily basis thus keeping the Squammy from work, schooling, activities of daily living, etc.

After some significant weight loss or gain, the Squammy finally realizes that an "abnormal" pet displays "abnormal" behavior because that's it's normal. How do I know this? Because I've been there, done it all and have the T-shirt!
"A lot of people spend time talking to the Animals, but not that many people listen. That's the real problem! ... Winnie the Pooh

Skirkpatrick74
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Re: Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS)

Postby Skirkpatrick74 » Wed Dec 11, 2013 5:33 pm

That is awesome! And oh so true!
Shannon, mom to Sandy, Daisy, Jack, Zooey and three human teenagers! :)

LilPNut
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Re: Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS)

Postby LilPNut » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:13 pm

That's me haha

daniegyrl
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Re: Neo-Squammy Syndrome (NSS)

Postby daniegyrl » Thu Jun 12, 2014 1:28 pm

I too suffer from NSS!! Thank you for the diagnosis!! Lol! :twisted:


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