HOW TO COOK THANKSGIVING DINNER
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Hot rolls and Butter
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day, so place your Flyer in your shirt to keep you company while you prepare the meal.
Remove Flyer from kitchen counter and return him to shirt. Prepare stuffing, and remove Flyer from edge of stuffing bowl and return him to shirt.
Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, and remove Flyer from edge of pan and return him to shirt. Have a stronger cup of coffee to steady your nerves.
Remove Flyer from turkey cavity and return him to shirt, and re-stuff the turkey.
Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as much so that you'll have a regular size serving after the Flyer has eaten his fill.
Remove Flyer from kitchen counter and return him to shirt. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor by Flyer. Peel potatoes, remove Flyer from edge of potato bowl and
return him to shirt.
Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows. Remove Flyer from edge of pan and return him to shirt. Replace missing marshmallows.
Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, take 2 aspirins, clean up the torn filter. Pry coffee bean from Flyer's mouth. Have another cup of coffee with a shot of brandy & remove Flyer from kitchen counter and return him to shirt.
When time to serve the meal:
Place roasted turkey on a large platter, and cover nibble marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley.
Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, re-whip at last minute to conceal nibble marks and paw prints. Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallows.
Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Flyer from side of basket and return him to shirt. Also remove nibbled rolls, serve what's left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften -- think better and return it to the refrigerator.
Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato paw tracks. Remove Flyer from kitchen counter and return him to shirt. Service yourself a cup of brandy.
Cut the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off Flyer's face and place large dollops of remaining whipped cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, nibbled portions should be
reserved for host & hostess.
Place Flyer inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family -- accompanied by plaintive chirps of "WANT DINNER!" from the other room. Pour brandy for everyone!
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